They’re Just Not That Into You

There was a movie a couple of years ago about a woman that didn’t understand why a man she went out with didn’t call her back. Especially since she thought their first date went so well. Finally a male friend gave her the simple yet painful truth: the guy just wasn’t that into her.

Unfortunately that lesson also applies to many situations in the nanny world. Last week I spoke with a nanny who was dumbfounded as to why she didn’t get a position. She fit the job requirements perfectly, she nailed the interview and she even lowered her salary to match what the family wanted to pay. So why did they go with someone else?

Although I don’t know why she didn’t get that particular job, I do know that often the hard truth is that sometimes the family simply doesn’t like the nanny. Sometimes it’s something that shouldn’t matter but does. Like the way she speaks or that she talks while chewing her food. (I’ve heard both more than once.) Sometimes It’s not anything in particular, there’s just no chemistry. And like in dating, chemistry matters.

The point is sometimes even when you’ve done your best, it’s not going to get you the job. Not every parent is going to like you. Not every family is going to be a good personality match. It’s not a reflection on you as a nanny or as a person. It’s not something to feel guilty about, to obsess over, to be defeated by. It’s just how it is.

It’s important to get feedback after every job interview. It’s important to honestly evaluate how you did and work on what you can do better the next time. But it’s equally important to not take on other people’s stuff.

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